The Equestrian Equation
by Aurora Nova
Summary: Leonard's pride won't let him back down from an invitation issued by Penny. Quick one-shot. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from "The Big Bang Theory".


Leonard stared in dismay at the towering, shuffling, intimidating mound of equine flesh that stood before him. Why had he let Penny talk him into this? He didn't know how to ride? Well, strike that. He knew the basics, having taken lessons with his brother and sister when he was much younger. But as his mother (repeatedly) pointed out to him, he would never be the equestrian his siblings became.

He knew, in point of fact, why he had let Penny talk him into this. She had breezed into their apartment - his and Sheldon's - and announced that she and her friends were arranging a trail ride the following weekend, and were any of the guys interested in coming along?

Bernadette excitedly said, "Yes!" at once, leaving Howard little opportunity to object. Raj nodded shyly, smiling, then confided to Howard (who then relayed the message) that he and his sister Pria used to ride all the time when they were kids. Leonard felt sure that Sheldon would decline, giving him a chance to do so also. But Sheldon, traitor that he was, stated that while he "didn't like being around horses", Amy Farrah Fowler had previously given Penny her approval, so he must, of course, defer to popular opinion and consent as well. Everyone turned to look at Leonard.

"Of course I'll come," he heard himself saying. "I love to ride!"

He was a liar and a coward, he told himself later. Now, faced with a large, smelly behemoth misnamed "Lightning", Leonard could do nothing but force himself to clamber into the saddle. Everyone else was waiting for him.

The trail they rode wound through dry hills and dusty gulleys. The horses plodded along because they knew this route. They had taken it so many times they could have done it in their sleep. Indeed, Howard's horse looked nearly as though he were sleep-walking. Raj was enjoying himself immensely, his grin wide and flashing. His horse, a sorrel mare named "Gypsy", hadn't been out much today, and she was feeling frisky. Raj kept her well under control, even when she attempted to break free as they approached a wide, long pasture area.

"Let her have her head," said Jim, the guide. "She's feeling her oats this morning, and you look like you can handle her." So Raj shook the reins out and gave Gypsy a little nudge, who obliged by breaking into a gallop, tearing off across the pasture. He guided her into a wide circle and rode the perimeter while the others plodded along.

"Any of you others want to follow?" Jim called back. Some of Penny's friends joined her, laughing, as they took off after Raj. A few of their mounts looked indignant about being asked to move faster than a lope this early in the morning, but they grudgingly shifted into high gear at the insistence of their riders.

"Did you want to gallop?" Leonard heard Howard ask Bernadette.

"No," she declined. "I'm not really that good a rider. I'll just stay here. But go if you want to," she added, graciously.

Howard most certainly did not want to, Leonard could see. But his friend was the soul of diplomacy. "I'd rather stay with you, too, sweetie," he smiled.

Sheldon was very preoccupied trying to keep Amy in her saddle. "When you agreed to this expedition," he chided, "it was assumed you had had some prior equestrian experience."

"I'm a girl, Sheldon," she shot back, grabbing the saddle horn in a death-grip. "It's in my genetic make-up to adore horses and want to ride one, even if I never have before."

Sheldon considered that for a moment. "I'm sure I don't remember there being a genome related to liking horses," he said slowly.

"Never mind that right now!" hissed Amy, as she lost one stirrup. Her horse fidgeted nervously. "Help me out here!"

"Leonard!" Penny called from across the field, "Come on!"

"That's okay -" he started to say, but at that moment a leaf blew across Lightning's line of vision, startling him, and Leonard soon found out why his horse had been named as he had. Lightning took off with a bound, grabbing the bit between his teeth. Leonard hauled back on the reins, but it had no effect. Worse still, Lightning was galloping _away_ from the rest of the tour group.

"Whoa, Lightning!" Leonard yelled, pulling harder. Lightning tossed his head and snorted, but ran all the faster. Having lost his glasses when the horse bolted, Leonard had no idea where he was headed. He felt the situation couldn't get much worse. He was afraid of falling, but at least he'd had plenty of experience in that when he was younger. He just needed to remember to tuck and roll, protecting his head.

He heard hoofbeats coming up behind him, and felt some measure of relief. Jim, the tour guide, must have come after him. Maybe he could get Lightning under control.

But it wasn't Jim. Leonard couldn't see very well, but the person riding up alongside, who reached over and grabbed Lightning's bridle and slowed him down, wasn't the short, stodgy ranch hand.

"Whoa, now, Lightning," a familiar voice soothed. "Calm down now. It's alright."

In short order, Leonard found himself back with the group. Raj handed him his glasses, which thankfully weren't damaged, and Leonard put his "eyes" back in and turned to look at his rescuer.

It was Sheldon. Leonard gaped. He wasn't the only one. Penny came riding up, an amazed, delighted smile on her face.

"Oh my god, Sheldon!" she exclaimed. "That was amazing! I can't believe it! I thought you said you didn't ride well?"

Sheldon smirked. "Correction," he said smugly. "I said I didn't like horses. I didn't say I couldn't ride!"

As they made their way back to the stables, Sheldon basked in the glory of appreciation. Leonard felt totally humiliated, until Penny sidled up to him on Sunset.

"You didn't want to come today, did you?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head.

"But you did anyway," she continued. "Why?"

Leonard shrugged. "Everyone else seemed to think it would be fun. They kept talking about how it would be a great experience they could turn around and relate to in our 'Dungeons and Dragons' games." He trailed off. He could see she wasn't buying it. She knew him too well.

"The real reason?" she prodded.

"The real reason…." Leonard said helplessly. "The real reason is that I just wanted to spend time with you. I just wanted to do something you really seemed keen on doing."

"Really?" she asked, her eyes going soft.

"Really."

"Wow," she breathed. "That's the sexiest thing you've ever done for me!"

"It is?" he asked, confused and delighted at the same time. "So…..does this mean…?"

"We'll discuss it when we get home," she grinned.


End file.
